Love, Lust, and luck An RE4 fanfic
by darksteel ninja
Summary: A playthrough fanfic. Side effects include headache, erection, laughter, and occasional sopntanious combustion. Please consult your nearest rap artist for Dealing with Spontainous combustion. Discontinued, becaused i realised Leon shouldn't be a mary sue.
1. its the begining

Lust, Love, and Luck.

An RE4 fanfic.

By Darksteel.

Authors note: This is a play through fanfic. IE im writing this as i go along, chronicling my adventures. Also, i suck at spelling. More importantly, this is my 2nd fan fic being hastur. Please read it, and review it.

Special agent Leon Kennedy was bored. Flying through the air on a Boeing 747 wasn't very fun for the agent, Not by a long shot. Listening to the baby next to him, imagining throwing the baby out the window, This was simply not enough to keep him entertained. He decided to listen to the music, but this, again, was not enough. He decided to be decisive, picked up the baby, and said, n a quiet tone, **"Would you please, **_**shut the fuck up". **_The baby complied. Handing the baby back to the woman, His com link began busing. The nearby waitress was about to complain and tell him to turn it off when he flashed his badge at her. With a sigh, He answered the call.

"This is Leon, the person you called"

Leon, Where are you" came the reply.

"Vacation, its where i wanna be."

"to bad, we have a mission for you. The president's daughter is missing. And the guy we sent is awol."

"well no Duh, he was a pacifist"

"He was highly qualified"

"He also knew nothing about guns"

"The president Hand picked him."

"Holy fuck America is SCREWED"

"Enough with the small talk. Where are you"

"I'm on a flight to Europe right now. I Heard there was some sort of thing going on in Amsterdam."

"Please tell me your not going to get high on this mission."

"What, me?"

"This is serious Leon, the president's daughter is missing. We have dispatched all agents"

"So im just a sweep?"

"Yes, to put it bluntly"

"wow, im honored. So where is she suspected"

"everywhere, no one has a clue where she is. Theres a slight chance she might be in Spain, so were sending you there"

"Where was she last seen"

"Germany, getting drunk"

"Why cant i go to Germany?"

"Because we don't know where she is"

"Fine, ill go. Do i get any backup"

"No, this is a low chance mission. You'll get an escort"

"Wow, im honored. Can i bring a hooker?"

"NO. For the love of god-"

"I'm Buddhist"

"I don't care, NO HOOKERS"

"Fine. So let me guess, you have a plane waiting for me at the Netherlands?"

"Yes, ETA is about 10 min"

"Holy fuck, you broke logic!"

"Its a new plane"

"I don't care, you fucking broke logic"

"..."

"Fine, fine, Do i get any handguns?"

"Yes, a hand gun. Only 10 shots though. Your going into a rural Spanish village. A Shotgun would be like saying I'm American, ready to spread freedom!"

"Wow Hunningham, its like you don't trust me"

"Haha. Try not to start a war"

"I'll try"

Leon Turned off his com link. He bag wondering why the woman next to him was yelling, He decided to take a nap, and get some precious sleep before this mission. Sleep was good. He had dent slept in 3 days. From cleaning his apartment, training the roaches who live there to defend it ( They were remarkably good at manipulating the controls of the sentry placement) and trying to rid himself of his pron addiction. Apically the bi addiction. That was particularly bad. He wondered about the roaches, and how they were doing. Falling into sleep, a new song turned on. Piano music, followed by a good beat. Leon listened to the song as he drifted into sleep

"look. If you had. One shot. One opportunity. To sacrifice everything you ever wanted. Would you go after it, or just let it slip"


	2. sleep  its what you do

Chapter 2.

Sleep – its what you do

Leon woke up, The airplane landing with an abrupt crash into the runway. Leon yawned, shoving his hand in the baby's face accidentally. The woman was about to make a fuss, when she realized Leon's strong, muscular hands. She felt her nipples go hard under her bra. Looking into his eyes, she thought all was well in the world.

Leon blinked, and asked "Um, is there a problem?"

"No no,not at all"

"K then, could you move? Ive got a plane waiting for me"

"Oh, um, yes, no problem"

Leon gets off the plane with a bored look on his face. He looks around for a guy holding a sigh with his name on it. He finds such a man, and walks over to him.

"Hello good sir, do you wish to purchase some cannabis?"

"Yes, i noticed your sign"

"Hey!Hey! Leon, over here!" A man in a black suit yelled

"what"

"Hunningham said you'd try to buy some pot"

"Well no fucking duh! Its Amsterdam. Its perfectly legal here"

"Your going to Spain. Where it ISNT legal"

"Fine, fine, ill go"

Leon slips the merchant a handful of bills, and the merchant gives him a ziploc bag filled to the brim with a green leaf matter. As he yawns again, he wondered if he would pass out on the ride to Spain. Being a CIA officer, opened up a line directly to the plane he was supposed to be taking. Standing back, Leon's jaw drooped, looking at the plane. It was a long narrow silver shaft, With the rocket engines at the base on ether side, it looked as if Leon was going to Spain in a giant penis. Leon thought on how funny this would be if he was high, then Climbed inside.

"well, lets get this over with" Leon sighed, as he put his Com link on MP3 mode. Listening to the music, he drifted to sleep.

"up up down down left right left right , then B A START the screen goes white, its the cracker, YTCracker, the game genie, 8 Bits with the 8 inch wenne..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon awoke with a start. Reaching for his gun, he realized he didn't have one. Cursing, he tried to break out of his straps. He then realized the plane had landed in Spain, and he wasn't being held captive. Well, actually, he was being held captive to his paycheck. How else was he going to deal with his immense addictions. And gunz. Ever since Raccoon city he'd been paranoid it would happen again. Grenades had saved his life. Re remembers...

FLASHBACK

Leon : OH FUCK IM OUT OF AMMO.

Oooooh shiny.

Leon quickly pulled the pin and chucked the colored end away. As the explosion shook the ground, Leon had a grin on his face. Seeing more of the colored objects, ammo no longer because he had explode things.

FLASHBACK ENDS.

Feeling a grenade tucked in his pants, he remembers the good times...

FLASHBACK

"ZOMBIES!" Leon yelled. Pulling out his gun, he was out of ammo. OH FUCK IM OUT OF AMMO. Oooooh Shiny"

Leon quickly pulled the pin and chucked the colored end away. As the explosion shook the ground, Leon had a grin on his face. Seeing more of the colored objects, ammo no longer because he had explode things.

FLASHBECK ENDS

Walking off the plane, Leon spotted Hunginham looking at him suspiciously. Realizing the danger of him being high, she had him padded down. Finding nothing, she was satisfied. Walking away, Leon slipped a few bills to the officer, who knew Leon well enough.

Hunginham, whats so important that you had to pull me off of vacation for." Leon demanded

"Leon, i told you, the president's daughter is missing. We had a sweep. All officers. Besides, with your resourcefulness you'll get drunk and end up waking up next to 2 hookers. Hopefully they'll not have dicks" Hunginham said sharply.

Can i at least Have some more ammo? Or a gun at all?" Leon suggested.

"NO! Your not there to invade, well give you a slandered gun, 1 clip. Use it as A LAST RESORT. DON'T JUSS SHOOT EVERYONE." Hunginham almost yelled.

"But you know what happened last time" Leon said.

FLASHBACK

"HOLY SHIT"

"ZOMBIES!" Leon yelled. Pulling out his gun, he was out of ammo. OH FUCK IM OUT OF AMMO. Oooooh Shiny"

Leon quickly pulled the pin and chucked the colored end away. As the explosion shook the ground, Leon had a grin on his face. Seeing more of the colored objects, ammo no longer because he had explode things.

END FLASHBACK

"Leon, listen, stop thinking back to the past. The past is over, you know that" Hunginham said, trying to get back to reality.

Leon was busy thinking on how many rounds he would use to scare hookers" Hunh?"

"Fine, Heres your gun. You'll have an escort to the town. El something. I dunno, i don't have a good Spanish accent" Hunginham said. " Its controlled by The Salazar family for generations. I think at one point there was a cult, but the salazer's took care of it. There very very wealthy, make sure they don't hate you. There respectable , but they would take out a contract."

"Did you know i got to sleep on that giant penis of a plane? I dream about playing Mario" Leon said dreamily.

"Gods, it going to get you killed if you don't focus" Hunginham said with a tint of anger in her voice.

"My short attention span has help me lots of times"Leon was then distracted by a penny.

FLASHBACK

"Oh gods i have a headache" Leon Said

"HOLY SHIT"

"ZOMBIES!" Leon yelled. Pulling out his gun, he was out of ammo. OH FUCK IM OUT OF AMMO. Oooooh Shiny"

Leon quickly pulled the pin and chucked the colored end away. As the explosion shook the ground, Leon had a grin on his face. Seeing more of the colored objects, ammo no longer because he had explode things.

FLASHBACK END

"LEON!FOCUS!" Hunginham threw a unused grenade at him." your lucky i'm giving yo this. You might piss everyone off and need to escape, theres easy bridges to blow up. Try not to burn them unless your on the way out."

"Hunginham, trust me. I'm not that stupid" Leon said sarcastically, then added " This is relay just a ploy so you can have me all to yourself isn't it"

"Leon, i gave you Spain because the chances are remote she'll be here. You've got a week min. Basically, you'll spend 2 days looking, then get waisted and go somewhere else. Easy as getting a drunk slut in bed"

"Wow,I didn't think of it like that. Thanks hun, I'll buy you dinner sometime. No booze, I promise."

"Just please don't start a war. I REALLY don't need that."

"No problem. I get paid the same no matter how much work i do, so ill try to keep the peace"

"Thanks Leon, and...Be careful. Just because there isn't a zombie invasion doesn't mean there couldn't be problems"

"Bah, I'm Leon Kennedy, i solo killed a city full of zombies, i can handle some beaners."

"Leon, thats Mexicans. There arnt any slurs for Spanish."

"are you saying im racist?"

"You just called them beaners"

"Yeah, but im a minority worldwide. Thus, i cant be racist. Besides, I've had sex with MANY mexi-"

"Oh look, its your ride. I Guess you'll have to tell me over dinner."

"Kay, We'll go to Sol ' Ca Varo.. They have bottled coke there"

As Leon stepped into the Truck, Hunginham looked at the truck. It looked pretty run down, muddy, and she seriously thought about calling him back. She cared for him, not in THAT way, but still. She didn't have many friends, and Leon was one of the few that alwaise came back. She hoped she might even stop his rambunckous life style, but that probably wouldn't happen. She looked at her watch.

"Oh shitfuck, i gotta get back to HQ" She cursed to herself. As she got into the jet, she wondered that mabey,just mabey, Leon would see some action.


	3. It's a backstory! HOLY FUCK!

Love, Lust, and luck

Chapter 3 – Its all i ever wanted to be

Leon was in the cab, when suddenly an idea hit him like an exclusive broken butterfly shot to the forehead.

" Driver, stop here for a second. I gotta go get something." Leon almost screamed. "Theres something I need to get."

"Nah holems, the scary lady said - " The cab driver was interrupted by Leon kicking out the window, and jumping through it in a matter of seconds. " YOU"LL HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT HOLEMS!"

Ignoring the Spaniard, Leon looked at the building that brought back so many memories.

Big Al's Pizza and Showrooms

With a grin, Leon opened the door, and went inside.

----------

Big Al's Pizza and Showrooms was a class establishment. Anyone Who disagreed was obviously mad in the head. The finest Chefs in Italy worked there. The girls were angels...or devil's, depending on the show. A fine selection of guys were there to, to cater anyones needs. Possibly one of the finest Showroom places is Spain, there were even 2 guards there to protect each girl.

Reasonable prices aside, It was also one of the biggest contributers to the police force of Spain, donating millions each year. And coincidentally, they were never searched for drugs. Even during the Nationwide sweep of 02, they were mysteriously searched before the day it was announced.

Yet few knew the dark history behind Big Al's Chicago history.

A competing family, one day they were wiped out in a sweep. The 23 Survivors fled to Spain, where they started up a small time business. It became popular, so it expanded. Now, there almost completely legit, epically if Spain's new Drug usage bill comes into service.

However, there underworld connections still reigned, And to this day, they still happened to, every now and then, just happen to get a hold of some illicit substances witch were sold off at low prices.

As Leon walked in, he saw the Sign, with a Fedora and red ribbon.

"Non dimentichi mai la vostra famiglia" Leon said with a perfect accent. If he was wearing a hat he would have taken it off.

As Leon approached the counter, he would see the man reach under the table.

"I'm here to see Toothpicks" Leon said, slamming his hands on the counter.

"Ahhhh, a police officer, what a wonderful surprise! I Trust you are here for an inspection? Or are you here to work out a deal with the manager?" The man said with a smile.

"I said, IM here to see Tony. Your going to give me the key, or im going to make sure you never walk right again. " Leon said, threatening tones thundering in his voice.

"And i SAID, Anything you can say to him, you can say to me!" The man reached under the counter, pulling out a shotgun.

Leon saw the shotgun, and grabbed the man's collar. With a slight heave, he threw the man from behind the desk into the wall. A woman approached Leon from behind, And tried to stab him, but he responded by grabbing her wrist, and twisting it , leaving a light wound across her torso, and ruining her dress. Leon then pulled out his knife, and held it to the mans throat.

" When i said i want to see toothpicks, i meant i want to see toothpicks, do you understand?" Leon whispered into his ear.

"Under the counter, next to the silent alarm" The man chocked out, obviously hurt.

Leon walked to the desk, and pulled the key out from under the desk.

"Thank you for your cooperation." Leon said, as he walked into the door behind the desk.

----------

Toothpicks Tony Medindarez was in a good mood. He was watching the fire pit in his office, a pizza and some spaghetti was in the oven, and some wine was being brought in.

Toothpicks Tony might be a odd name to most, but most great ganksta's had nicknames. In his case, after every sweep or hit, or even protecting services, his calling card was a toothpick. He was good at what he did, and what he did was extortion.

Living in Spain since for 2 years ago, on that faithful day...

FLASHBACK

A typewriter was heard in the distance. The window broke, and suddenly the small diner became a battle field.

Toothpicks Was currently hiding behind a reinforced table, finishing off his sausage.

"Dammit, how'd they know i was here" Tony said with a mouthful of sausage.

The restaurant he was at was full of holes, and he heard an old friend coming over to his cover.

"Leon, mah boy,, how the fuck are you" Tony said, knowing the fellow mobster.

"Fine,fine. I didn't get to finish my pizza, though" Leon said, chewing on a piece of sausage from Tony's plate.

"It's the Antonelli's Leon said, glancing offer the table. " I think...we have a rat in this situation"

"Leon, if your shittin me..."

"Do i shit people? No. I ave an honor code. Ever see me stab someone in the back? Ever see me kill a woman? Or a child? Remember back in 99?"

"How could i forget that day. You made us all vow to not get married."

"Ya... so far, Vinnie's out."

"Yah, and you might be too, if what i heard about in raccoon city is right..."

"It's nothing"

"If ya say so Leon, but still, is it a good idea to be talking right now?" 

"Why? It's not like were in danger of something." Leon glanced over the table, then ducked back" SHIT! ...We might have to move."'

"Why?" 

At this point, the distinct sound of a rocket being launched went off.

"That's why."

Leon grabbed Tony's glass of wine. With a gulp, he downed the wine, and then broke the end, creating a sharp blade. He handed this to the guy approaching the table. Well, not so much as hand as "Stabbing in the throat, but still"

Leon and Tony then went through the store, ducking under the gunfire. There was no rush, there was a 9 inch thick steel door protecting there hideout. Leon punched in the code, and they were in.

Leon quickly went to grab his favored guns, as Tony grabbed a case of grenades.

Suddenly the hairs on the back of Leon's neck went up. Something was nagging him. If there was a rat, and Leon's instincts never failed him before, then that would mean...

"TONY! GET DOWN" Leon yelled as he pulled out his Broken Butterfly. Glancing into the dark, and guessing where they might be, he quickly pulled off 7 shots, hearing 5 of them land home. As he Tried th shoot one that was in view, he realized he was out of ammo." Shit..."

"Well well Leon Kennedy... How nice of you to join us." A Voice came from the darkness.

"I wondered when you'd crawl out of that Goddamn hole you call a hideout" Leon said."Antonelli, you bitch"

"Now now, we don't have to be rude, do we? And besides, you really arnt in a position to be angry at me. We both know you have no chance...epically when we have our little...informant here." As he waved his hand, Leon's jaw dropped.

Coming out from the darkness , Like a ghost from his past, came a Woman in a blue silk Dress.

Ada smiled at Leon. " Well, its sure been a while , Leon"

"Our little Ada here has helped us quite a bit. With any luck, your entire family will be wiped out. You never were a mat..."

Tony noticed Leon stopped listening when he noticed there was something odd about Ada. Looking at her, she seemed to be looking at him, then at the couch on his left. When she saw his gaze, she smiled, and winked.

Leon suddenly understood what was going to happen. Jerking his head in the direction of Tony, clearly saying to Ada to make sure he gets out of there safe.

Ada nodded, counting down with her fingers, held causally on her hips.

5...

Leon sat down on the couch, massaging his forehead, and getting ready to run.

4...

Leon tried to clear his mind, trying to focus on what will happen.

3...

He could probably pull out his Red9 in time...

2...

He wondered why she was helping him like this. Probably something to do with raccoon city...

1...

Leon tensed up...

"NOW, LEON!" Ada yelled, as she pulled out a blade and swung at the mob boss.

Leon quickly reached under his pillow, revealing a 9mm Hand gun, fully loaded. With a smile, he aimed at Antonelli, who was distracted by Ada. Suddenly, she kicked him back, and tackled Tony to the floor. Grabbing his hand, she lead him out the other door, into the one shop that was safe for them.

Once Tony was safe, He grabbed the woman by the throat.

"Give me one good reason why i shouldn't gut you **right now**" Tony Said as he spit out his toothpick.

"I just left Leon in there with a gun and a person he doesn't like. Do you really think he's in trouble? Ada's reply had just a hint of regret in it.

"Why'd you go and betray him. The first time he's seen you in years, and you ha-" 

"I DID WHAT I HAD TOO." Ada yelled angrily" You don't know what I had to do to get his trust. You don't want to know. You don't know who I even work for, just SHUT UP"

"K then fine, who do you work for."

"I can't say...well...Leon trusts you, from what I gather...Let's put it like this. The Antonelli's were making a ploy for power. Not the normal kind of power. They were trying to get a hold of a ... sample of a virus. A virus that brought an entire city to its knees. A city I met Leon in. Raccoon City. Do you understand why that would be dangerous?"

"...I don't know what to say..."

"About what? I never said anything. Why would i say anything anyway? I was quite clearly trying to kill you, but you overpowered me in an epic battle. Remember?"

"Oh yeah..." Tony pulled out his gun, shooting her in the arm and himself in the leg."Shit that hurt, but that battle was pretty epic."

"Yeah...I hope Leon is alright..." Ada cradled her wound as she looked backed.

"You said it yourself, Leon had a gun and a guy he didn't like. "

"Yeah..."

"Say...Some of us guys had a vow type thing. The last one of us to sell out to a woman wins. Did he..."

"NO, its nothing."Ada said, single tear going down her cheek. " It wasn't something, isn't, and never will be."

"It looks like your crying..."

"Its raining...It's just the rain."

"Yeah...rains a bitch ain't it"

FLASHBACK OVER

Tony pulled out his toothpick, and he threw it into the fire. Reaching for another one, he didn't fine one, so he cursed.

Suddenly, his light daydreaming was interrupted by a man with blond hair and a flak vest bust in, and proceeded to sit down on his spare couch, throwing his legs up on the table.

Tony glared at the man, sizing him up " You have 30 seconds to explain why your here."

"you cant tell who i am?" The man wen over to a display case that had an old style Chicago gangster outfit. With a flick of his wrist, he broke though the glass, and put fedora on his head.

FLASHBACK

Tony had went back to the hideout 2 days later, assuming that he could get the body's there.

What he found was Leon's suit and fedora, his Broken Butterfly, and his famous motto etched n a piece of paper, Non dimentichi mai la vostra famiglia. Curious, he looked on the back of the paper. On it was a note- this is my family tree, with a link to his parents. And his grandfather was...Al Capone.

Leon Kennedy was a direct decedent from Al Capone. The original Gangster.

Tony was stunned, and as he gathered Leon's things, he didn't say a word.

FLASHBACK OVER

Tony was stunned beyond words. Miss Earth could come in naked and he wouldn't care.

Leon Capone was back. At least, for a little while.


	4. shameless story setup

AUTHOURS NOTE : Ive made a few changes to the characters. Ill tell you when its necessary. Like Leon being the grandson of Al Capone being one of them. Also, Leon likes food. Also is a gangster. And MEHECO is how my friend once said Mexico.

Tony was stunned. It was ok to be stunned, epically when someone you thought to be dead just showed up in your office.

Tony wasn't epically superstitious, but this still confirmed to him, that there were, infact, ghosts.

"G-G-GHOST!" Tony immediately reached for his Killer7 under his desk. By the time he pulled it on Leon, his broken butterfly was pointed at Tony's forehead.

"Tony,Tony,Tony,Tony. Since when have you been superstitious?"

"Ur dead, Leon. There's no way you could come back. You were left in that room, and he came out."

"So you didn't kill him?

"No. He won, Leon. There's no way we could get back ion the game. He even has the airports watched now."

"well then...VIVA MEHECO!"

"Leon, your insane, ya know that?"

Suddenly, a girl walked in. She was wearing a corset, and not much else. To Leon, she looked like the most beautiful thing in world. She was carrying pizza.

She noticed Leon looking at her generous rack, for it had cheese, and sausage, and smiled.

"Leon, if you keep looking at my wife like that, im going to have to shoot you"

"But she has pizza...YOU HAVE A WIFE?"

"Yup. Look's like im out too."

"Dam, so who does that leave?"

"You, Leon."

"But, What about Micky and Luigi and...and... Don't tell me..."

"Yup. They were hit."

"Dam it."

"Sp, how does it feel to be the only one of us who hasn't sold our soul. "

"Pretty good. So, i assume your gonna pay me?"

"HAHAhahahaa-cough COUGH COUGH Tony's laughing ended in a wheeze of breath.

His wife looked worried, and reached into her corset to pull out a bottle of pills. Setting it on the table, making sure to bend over in front of Tony, with a slight grin at Leon. As Tony came to, he awoke to see his wife's cleavage in front of his face. Despite being married for over a year, he still was shocked by the immense cleavage.

Leon was busy rolling around the floor, in danger of laughing to death. His wife was laughing so hard her generously filled corset was in danger of bursting. He wondered if she was wearing anything under neath.

"is it really a good idea to be wearing that if your going to be laughing like that?"

"Good point, ill take it of"

"Hey hey hey, Leon stop hitting on my wife."

"She. Has. Pizza"

"I thought you like me for me"

"Your married to him, remember?"

"Oh yah! YAY!" She then proceeded to sit down on Tony's lap, moving his legs apart to get more comfortable.

Leon picked up a piece of pizza, enjoying its every bubble of cheese, the small lumps of sausage, everything about it was amazing. Taking a bite of nirvana in food form, he was reminded that he never gave Tony his present.

"Hey tony, before you eat, i gotta give this to yah."

Leon tossed the bag stuffed to the brim with marijuana to Tony, who's wife grabbed it. Looking at the bag, Tony ask, " Where did you get this large bounty?"

"Thats why im here Tony. No offense to your pizza or your "Models who serve" but iv got a job to do" Leon said, his mouth filled with pizza.

He then picked up a bottle of wine, uncorking it with the nozzle of his Gun. Using his foot blade, he flipped the bottle up to his mouth, drinking down about ¼ of the bottle. By then, his hands were wiped of the grease from the pizza, and set the bottle down.

"I've been bouncing around from place to place. I'm working for the ..."

"Ahhhhh...i see. Honey, i need you to get some more wine. Also, could you lease ask the chef for some more pizza? I'm sure my friend is hungry. Ive seen him eat 3 of em, so ask for 2 more. Extra cheese." Tony looked at his wife as he said it, conveying it to her that she needed to leave for a bit, for her own good.

"No problem. Should I set up a suite?"

"Yes, it'll take a day min to help me friend relax"

"Ill get 2, But were short on guards"

"Trust me, Leon wouldn't do that. Ive seen him do things that make grown men cry, but i've NEVER seen him do ANYTHING to a woman. Never. Hell, i once saw him Beat the shit outa a guy who hit his wife."

"K, ill be right back"

"Crystal;, feel free to take your time."

Crystal left the room, leaving the men alone to talk.

"She good in bed?"

"Oooooh yah."

"How'd ja meet"

"Well, she was one of our first girls. Eventually, i took her out on a date. Talking to her, i realized she was a really nice girl. She was single, and infertile. Sucks to be me, eh?"

"ya, looks like your bloodline is gonna end"

"Not exact-"

Suddenly, the door busted in. A woman wearing a blue leather corset, wearing a skirt, and a purse that was obviously absolutely NOT carrying a gun in it walked in.

"Mister Tony i-"

At "Mister tony" Leon began laughing so hard he fell off the chair, again.

"I'm sorry Mister Tony, but i have to leave..."

"Is something wrong Samantha? "

"I'm pregnant. I'm sorry, i know im in the headline act's but i have to go..."

"Why? Is your husband giving you any trouble?"

"no..but im pregnant. I'm gonna swell up and im gonna get fat and-"

"And there's something called a pregnant fetish. Do you want to keep working here?"

"Wha-what?"

" We try to make any customer satisfied. There's a lot of weird turn on's out there. One of them is pregnant women. If you want to keep working here, just say so"

"I...i can still work here?"

"Sure! Don't worry, there isn't much call for pregnant women, and ill tell the other girls that you might need to sit some acts out, but you can still work here."

"tha-thank you. Thank you so much mister Tony. Ummm...do you want me to get something for your friend here? He seems to be laughing at something..."

"No no, hes just a moron. Anyway, tell crystal to switch your name under fetishes section. Tell your husband that if he's worried we can assign an extra guard, or mabey he can watch your act. Your very good. Tell him to call me if he has any concerns."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

She walked out, being careful not to trip on them an laughing on the floor.

\"Leon, it isn't that funny."

"Mist-Mis-MISTER TONY. GODS THAT FUNNY! Wow, i don't think ANYONE has ever called you that."

"Anyway, as i was saying. You remember Luigi's daughter, Erica?"

"Your not telling me..."

"Yup. She's at school right now."

"How old is she?

"15 right now. Funny, inn it. Those bitches gutted him in front of her, then didn't even touch her. Didn't even tell her to get out of the room, or kill him somewhere else."

"So you adopted her?"

"Did i have any other choice?"

"Not really."

"Anyway, you were saying who you were working for"

"No, i wasn't. I was never here. I Certainly aint workin for the CIA. And i sure as hell aint lookin for Ashly Graham."

"Ahhhhh...The presidents daughter. I heard something about it. K-something."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Hmmm...Leon, you do realize what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

"You, the grandson of Al Capone, asking me for a favor."

"Ahhhhh...no problem. I can get any fee for you."

"Nonono, its not that. Its the fact that your relying n the family. You left the radar, and now you jump back in."

"Ahhhhh...i see. You need my help."

"Kinda. We need more them Cash. A Rich man has no influence without enforcers."

"You need people like me to join."

"Yes. Leon Capone, we need you."

"Good trade then. I can get you people, and i can take a vacaion for a bit."

" Excellent."

"Now then, where is she"

"In a small rural town. The name? I don't know. I can get a man to get you there. I'm guessing she was kidnapped?"

" Absolutely mabey. We don't know. She wiped from the radar."

"Gotcha. Of course, you cant fall of the underworld."

"I did."

"Your Leon. Getting of the radar is easy. Someone like me? Impossible. Id have to fake my own death. To many people would be suspicious."

"Yeah. Anyway... is there any chance i could get some backup? Metal men or otherwise?"

"Leon, if we sent more then one person, you KNOW there'd be problems. As for firepower...Well, we can give you a discount."

"Good enough, i can get cash wired tomorrow."

"Now that kinda cash. The people were working with...use Pecas."

"Gold pieces?"

"yes. However, get this. The town...uses em. "

"So...when something goes wrong, i have to hit up some homes, and bam. What kinda firepower are we talking about here."

"I'm talking about your old Typewriter"

"Holy fuck, you guys got that"

"Yes, we found it on our last raid on the Anntonelli's. A Distraction hit. We pulled out all the stops."

"K then. Excellent. How many pecas do you need."

"1 million."

"Holy fuck, what happened to it"

"There doing things with it. I saw what they've done so far. Let me put it this way, it outclasses your butterfly. By a LOT. "

Leon stared at the man. Pulling out his butterfly, he shot the wall, creating a hole large enough to climb through it.

"stronger then that?"

"Shot for shot, you win. But...its a typewriter. It would do mabey.;..a 1/5 of that. In .1 seconds. "

"Wow. I Think i can pull a few contacts. No problem."

"We can get you some First aid sprays too. However...ammo is gonna be a problem. We can give you a pack, but thats it. However... we cant give you much help once your in. Mainly problems with our men, we need everyone here, otherwise, people would start something. Remember, you need to keep low. You can connect us with America. To many problems. Selling secrets, smuggling drugs...ANYTHING. Anyway, we need help. However... you can take care of that later. It'll take 2 days to get everything ready. You've got that much time to prove yourself to my men. Can you do that?"

"I'm Leon Kennedy. I can do it in 2 hours."

"Hahaha...Good luck kid. You'll need it. Epically since what I've seen. Even this...Ive seen reports of someone else looking for her. Or, more precisely, who took her."

"Whats the problem"

" That i don't know if its a problem or not."

" Ill keep that in mind."

"Heh...Kid. I'll give you a job right now. Theres a Shop downtown that's hesitant to pay up a few fee's. We keep reasonable prices. 11 of the total profits. That's more reasonable then the last guy's who we cleared out. Dumb asses asking for 3k a month. Most guys welcomed us in open arms. And this guy has already sent 2 of our guys to the hospital. And as far as im concerned, hes less then you. By a lot. I once saw your training. I used to think that the human body couldn't break through stone wall's. Or snap through skin with your fingers"

"I'm almost embarrassed."

"Don't be kid. IM surprised . BTW, looks like our pizza's here"

"WOOOOT! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!"

Crystal walked back in, with 3 large pizza's and 4 bottles of wine, and 3 glasses. Apparently she wanted to get to know Tony's guest. This mysterious man who happened to burst into Tony's office without being shot.


End file.
